Is it crazy for me to love having a blog that no one reads? I feel like I'm writing directly to God somehow. My blog presents physical proof every day how everyone is no one. No one reads my blog, and everyone doesn't know about my blog. Somehow, I feel connected to the whole human race by writing to no one, a large void of possible readers that will probably never be. The possibility of being connected to everyone while simultaneously being connected to no one...

So, to everyone and no one at the same time, let me say that my heart is broken and I'm tired, and I just don't know if I can manage anymore. I feel like my whole life has been punctuated with grief and loss, and I just don't want to take any more. I have definitely hit the wall, like I did so many years ago when I was training for my first marathon. I knew I couldn't take another step, and I still had 17 miles to go, so I prayed to God and let Him know that I just can't do any more. And I felt like someone was almost carrying me. I could hardly feel my feet touch the ground, and I made it. One step at a time.

Please God, help me. I can't do any more. I just don't have anything left in me. I'm so tired.